Diary of a Swan
by Don't Wait For Me
Summary: Inspired by "A Home For A Swan" by Rottenspark. High school AU - Teenage Emma moves to Storybrooke to live with the father she never knew existed. Will she and David become a family? Will scary class president Regina ruin her life? Written as a diary from Emma's perspective, now with excerpts from Regina's perspective. This WILL be a Snowing story; other ships potentially.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey, ya'll. Premise was inspired by the story "A Home For a Swan" by Rottenspark, whose permission I got to write this. It's a lot different than that story in format/tone/plot but there are serious similarities (at least at first)._

 _Like in RottenSpark's story, Mary-Margaret isn't Emma's mom, but will play a big part. Also, Emma did not grow up in the foster system, but with a biological mother who's an OC._

 _Not sure how often I will update, so please be patient. I'll let ya know if I'm stuck._

 _Thanks for reading!_

 **Part 1**

 **Part 1**

 **I'm Meeting My Dad Today**

The therapist said I should try writing things down. So look, I'm trying, but I doubt it's going to help anything.

I'm meeting my dad today. I know, right? You'd think I'd actually feel something.

 **He's Blond and Shorter Than I Imagined**

And he cried. A lot.

I didn't.

 **Apparently, I Have To Live With Him**

I'm sitting in the backseat of a car, headed for Maine, not willingly.

The social worker said it was "not negotiable." Also said it was "the best situation for me." WTF?

I don't know this guy. Met him yesterday. Living with him is a good idea…why?

 **I AM GOING TO DIE HERE**

There is only ONE STREET in this town. Completely serious. The rest is cornfields.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

"That's the school," David said, pointing to one tiny building.

"Like, the high school?"

"No. For everyone."

All twelve grades. I am going to the same school as five-year-olds.

"Kill me now."

"What?" David said.

 **At Least I Have My Own Room**

The house is nice. Really nice, actually. My room is bigger than the whole bottom floor of Mom's house.

I miss her. Also, hate her.

Three days here, and all I've done is hang around. What do people do in this town?

Should I be worried I haven't seen anyone but David?

Also, why was he living alone? He seems normal enough. Shouldn't he have like a girlfriend or something?

It's weird, just saying.

Living with him is very bad. He keeps trying to talk to me, but I'm not about it. Sorry, but you weren't in my life for seventeen years. You don't get to just be my dad.

Thought about running away, but pretty sure they'd just haul me back here. Plus, no civilization for possibly hundreds of miles.

Would die among corn and be found years later, rotting.

 **What David Looks Like**

Blond. About 5'8". Handsome, in a 40-year-old kind of way.

I look more like him than Mom, for sure. Always wondered where the blond hair came from.

He's the sheriff, which I find hilarious.

 **I Got Out of the House, Finally**

David went back to work today. It took him about 45 minutes to leave the house. He wouldn't stop asking if I'd be okay.

"I WILL BE COMPLETELY FINE," I finally said.

Without him hovering around, was much more relaxed. Finally could eat a bowl of cereal without being spied on.

For the record, I get it. I'm his kid. He didn't know I existed, and he's in shock or something. But I can't with his watching of my every move.

Alone, I did a little digging around. He's got a pretty extensive CD collection: Pink Floyd, Alice Cooper, Metallica. All of this was surprising. I took him for more of a country music guy. You'd understand if you saw him.

I made myself an omelet, then decided to go exploring. There was corn, and did I mention corn? Walked for an hour before I reached the one street with the stores and the high school. There was a diner, a post office, an antique shop, a library, and a gas station. THAT WAS EVERYTHING.

I wouldn't have minded hitting up the diner, but didn't bring money. Actually, don't have money. Must get job. (Where, though?)

I did get to see the first other person since coming here. One of the waitresses, about my age, was out on break.

"Hey," I said.

She looked me up and down. She had long brown hair and was super skinny, in a short skirt, leaning against the building and smoking a cigarette. "Hey."

"Can I get one of those?"

She gave me one, and we smoked together.

"What do people do around here?" I said.

"What do you mean?"

"For fun."

Instead of answering, she asked, "Who are you?"

"Emma. Uh, the sheriff's daughter."

"No way. I didn't know he had a kid."

"Yeah, well."

She looked me up and down.

"You look like him," she said.

"Thanks, I guess."

"Where have you been? All these years?"

"With my mom."

"Your mom…wait. Would that be Annie Green?"

"I really don't want to talk about it."

I hauled ass out of there.

 **Mom Would Never in a Million Years Go By "Annie"**

Mom is Anne. Period.

Wonder how she's doing in prison.

 **David Got Home Before I Got Home**

"Where were you? I was worried."

"Just went for a walk."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Why wouldn't I be?

I went upstairs and shut the door. Downstairs, I could hear him pacing.

 **David Really Can't Cook**

David tried to make dinner tonight, more than just spaghetti or eggs. I was hanging around upstairs when my room started filling up with smoke.

"David?" I came into the kitchen, coughing.

He turned around, clutching something with oven mitts. Whatever it was, it was coal black. "Dinner's…ready," he said.

I just laughed. He set the black thing on the counter and started laughing, too. Then we both started coughing from all the smoke, and by the time we stopped there were tears running down both our faces.

 **School Supply Shopping With David**

"What do you like better, three-ring binders or spiral-bound notebooks?"

"I literally could not care less."

 **First Day of School, Rethinking Running Away**

Terrible, terrible, terrible.

There are nineteen people in the senior class. Nineteen.

No wonder that girl knew my mom. Everyone knows everyone. Could not escape them all staring at me. Also, had to stand up in front of class and introduce myself with a "fun fact."

"I'm the sheriff's kid," I said.

Here's the really hilarious part. There's this girl, this Regina. I know a queen bee when I see one. She comes marching up to me before homeroom starts.

"You must be Emma."

This girl is wearing all the brand names, shiny black hair straight out of a Pantene commercial.

"I must be."

"I'm the class president."

"Congratulations."

She frowns at me. The room's gone silent.

"Well," she says, eyeing me up, "I just wanted to say welcome to town." (Underlined to emphasize tone of pure hatred.)

The diner girl sat with me at lunch. I don't know how she got away with wearing a skirt that short to school.

"Just so you know," she said, "you probably shouldn't mess with Regina."

"Why not?"

"It's just easier. Trust me."

"I'm not afraid of her."

She gave me a weird look, hard to describe.

When we got back to our classroom, Regina came up to me and drawled, "So, I hear you're some kind of criminal."

Everyone turns and looks. My face is on fire.

"Well, I hear you're a bitch," I said, "so I guess we both heard right."

Isn't it amazing how fast I can make enemies?

 **So, yeah, I've been arrested**

But how did Regina know that? And how much does she know?

And can I please not have to live here?

 **David tries to talk to me, fails**

"How was school?"

How has David survived all these years? He'd managed to cook a box of mashed potatoes into a solid block.

"Emma?"

"So awesome."

He stared while I fled upstairs.

Outside my bedroom door: "I'm sorry it went badly."

Didn't respond. He's still pacing downstairs while I write this.

 **Trying to understand David's life**

Things I know about David so far: blond, sheriff, middle-aged, quiet, nice, lives alone, likes hard rock. Managed to have a kid for 17 years and not know it.

Funny thing is, I can't even picture him with Mom. Guys she likes have tended to be assholes.

I don't understand either of my parents. If they were involved enough to make a baby, wouldn't David have checked up on her at least once after she left town?

 **Well, officially failing after just one week**

English teacher handed out surprise quiz on _Red Badge of Courage_ in second period. Tried to BS my way through it but no luck.

The teacher said I could either take the failing grade or do a paper on the Civil War for extra credit. Decided to do the extra credit because failing after one week would be bad even for me.

Tried to do research that night, but David's ancient computer couldn't even load Wikipedia.

"Sorry," he said. "I never really needed one. The library has computers."

Got excited about having somewhere to go this weekend, before getting depressed because it's the library.

Have to start making actual friends or will not survive much longer.

 **Scary stalker woman at the library**

The library is one dinky room that smells like old socks.

Was sitting at one of the computers, a big box hardly better than David's, when I noticed this woman lurking around. She's standing behind one of the shelves staring at me through a gap in the books.

Tried to ignore her, but she kept staring. I couldn't see her very well through the books but she looked youngish, with dark hair.

Finally, I got up.

"Can I help you?"

She burst into tears, burying her face in her hands. I stood there, frozen.

When the woman looked up, her face was exactly like Mom's.

Next thing I know I'm running out the door.

 **Who the hell is this woman?**

Mom's cousin? Sister?

My aunt?

Have I lived my whole life with an aunt?

 **David's downstairs, on the phone**

"I'm so sorry, Mary-Margaret. I was going to tell you." Pause. "Because I needed time." Pause. "I don't think that's a good idea. Mary-Margaret, please. Let me talk to her first."

 **David tries to talk to me, fails**

David made pancakes for breakfast, burnt on the outside and liquid on the inside. We sat in silence.

"Um," he says.

"Mom has a sister."

He stared at me for a long moment, in that way he does, like he's trying to memorize me. "Yes."

"My aunt."

"Yes."

"She lives in town?"

"Emma—

I'm out the door before I can think.

 **I'm just done with all of it**

I just want to start over, somewhere else, without any of this complicated shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

 **I stalked the diner girl after class**

Caught up with her after the last bell. This girl, she reeks of cigarettes all the time, and I haven't seen her wear anything but short skirts since day one.

"Do you want to hang out?" I said, rushing down the sidewalk.

She kept walking, fast.

"Hello?" I said.

"I've got work."

"I don't mean now. I was thinking Friday."

No response.

"Hey!" I said. "I don't know anyone here."

Finally, she stopped. Looked me up and down. Sighed. "Regina hates you."

"So?"

"I don't want Regina to hate me."

"Seriously?"

"You don't get it."

She started walking again, but I kept after her.

"Explain it to me."

"Regina," she said, "owns this town."

"Okay?"

"She does."

"And if you hang out with me, she's going to, what, give you dirty looks?"

"You should leave," she said. "Go back wherever you came from."

I stopped walking. The girl turned around and gave me a sorry look.

"I meant you should leave before you get hurt."

 **I do not get this town**

I should leave before I get hurt?

 **More awesome conversations with David**

"David?"

A frozen pizza fell from his hands and went rolling across the floor. "Emma!"

It's weird. A grown man falling apart when you say his name.

He grabbed the pizza and got it in the oven, then leaned back against the counter with his arms crossed. "What's up?"

"Um, I was just wondering. Do you know anything about this girl in my class? Regina?"

"Regina Mills?"

"Yeah."

"Well, let's see. She's the mayor's daughter. Seems like a nice girl."

I choked.

"What? Is she not?"

"God, no."

"Is she…bothering you? Because I could talk to her mother—

"David. Jeez."

"Oh, right. Not cool." He looked at me in that memorizing way again. "Are you sure? If she's bothering you, I'm sure I could get Mayor Mills to talk to her—

"I would actually rather die." 

**Apparently the hot guys hang out in the woods**

Another weekend without friends. Decided to go for a walk rather than soak in more television. Brain turning to soup.

Instead of heading for town, thought I'd go in the other direction. It was nice out, cloudy and gray and cold for September. Almost wished I'd pulled on jeans instead of shorts.

(Terrifying thought: Will have to go shopping at some point. Where the hell will I do that? Does Amazon even ship out here?)

After walking for an hour, came to some woods. There was a path, so I took it. Soon there were trees all around, and everything was quiet.

"Watch it!"

Something whizzed past my ear. It was an arrow, like an actual arrow.

"Holy shit!"

"Are you okay?" This guy comes running of the trees: brown hair, skinny, in tan cargo pants and a green vest. Covered in sweat and dirt.

"You almost killed me!"

"I'm so sorry." He breathed hard. "There's usually no one else out here."

"So you thought you'd just shoot some random arrows?"

"I'm really sorry. I was just messing around." He pulled the arrow out of the tree and stuck it in the quiver hanging off his shoulder. "Anyway, what were you doing out here?"

"It's a trail. I was walking on it."

"These are hunting grounds. You're not supposed to."

"Well, I'm new. I didn't know that. And you're still not off the hook for almost killing me, Katniss."

"Katniss?"

"Don't you watch movies?"

"No."

Then we were kissing.

 **I never said I was innocent**

I don't have a problem doing what I feel like doing.

 **His name is Graham**

"Your name is Emma, right?" he said after the kissing, while we both sat leaning against a tree trunk.

"Yeah."

"Your dad is the sheriff?"

"Uh huh."

"I've seen you in school. I'm in the class below you."

"What are there, twelve people in that class?"

"Thirteen, actually."

A bird cawed overhead.

"How do people survive in this town?" I said.

"What do you mean?"

"It's so…small."

"Are you from the city?"

"Boston."

He nodded, peeling bark off a stick with a pocketknife. "Why did you come here?"

I laughed. "Long, long, long story."

"I'm all ears."

I stood, brushing dirt off my knees. "David's going to be home soon. I should get back."

I walked off fast, leaving Graham sitting there.

 **David talked to Mary Margaret again**

"I don't know when she'll want to see you, Mary Margaret." Pause. "I'm sure you can understand it's a very sensitive situation." He lowered his voice. "Look, if it's Annie you're wondering about, Emma hasn't said a word. I don't know any better than you what she's been doing all this time." He lowered his voice even more. "DUI. Eight months in prison. Mary Margaret, listen. They were living in an apartment without heat. Without food. I have no idea how to help her recover from that. I'm…I'm really lost here."

 **I don't want to be "helped."**

I just want to be left alone.

I can take care of myself.

 **Graham found me before school.**

"Emma!"

He caught me before I headed inside. He was wearing the same clothes as on Saturday, dirt stains and all, but his hair was wet and he smelled like soap.

"Hey," I said.

"You ran off the other day."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Did I offend you?"

"No." I looked to the door. "We should go in. I don't want a detention."

He grabbed my sleeve. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after school. Go to the diner or something."

He stared at me with those green eyes. Holy shit.

"No," I said, and went inside.

 **I don't need this.**

I'm lonely, yes. I'll admit that.

But I want someone to kill time with, not someone who's going to get all attached.

I'm leaving on my 18th birthday. Leaving and not coming back.

Graham seems nice and I don't want to hurt him.

 **Regina continues to charm me.**

"Stay away from Graham."

She glared at me in the hallway, after everyone else had left for the cafeteria. I don't get why Ruby (the diner girl) is afraid of this bitch. All she does is talk. What's the big deal?

"What's it to you?"

"He's not available."

"Seemed pretty available the other day."

Her face turned red, and she got in my space. "Stay away or there will be consequences."

"What is your deal? He doesn't belong to you."

"Actually, he does."

"What does that mean?"

"It means," she said, "that I refuse to let you ruin everything."

She turned on her expensive heel and walked off.

I am so damn confused.

 **Nightmares suck**

Just had a terrible dream. Ugh.

I was back at the apartment in Boston, with Mom. She'd been drinking. She was lying on the floor and I couldn't wake her up.

I woke up screaming, and of course David was right there. Of course he was.

"Emma, are you alright?"

I was shaking and sweating and breathing hard. The problem is that happened, sometimes. Mom drinking herself into oblivion. My biggest fear was one day she wouldn't wake up.

"Yeah." I pushed the hair out of my face. "Just…nightmare."

David held up a finger. "Be right back."

He left and came back a second later.

"A candle?" I said, watching as he lit it and the flame flickered in his eyes.

We have the same exact eyes, you know. David and I. I might have Mom's chin but when it comes to hair and eyes I'm like David all the way.

"My mom used to do it for me," he said. "Light a candle to keep the nightmares away."

He set it on my bedside table and then stood up straight, looking at me.

"You were crying in your sleep," he murmured.

I swiped at my face and my hands came back wet. "It's fine."

"What were you dreaming about?"

"Mom."

There was silence. The candle's flame danced like something alive.

"Was she happy, when you knew her?" I said.

"Yes." He took a long breath. "Very."

"I don't think she was ever happy with me."

"Emma, I'm sure that's not true."

"No, it's okay. I accepted a long time ago I could never make her happy. I just want to know…what happened. What changed."

"So would I."


End file.
